Ella Dawson has genital herpes, and she wants to tell you about it.
She’s not speaking up for the shock value — she’s telling you because she wants all of us to be able to talk about STIs without shame or stigma. When we make it okay to talk about, she says, people are more likely to get tested and less likely to be afraid to share their status.
In her badass talk at TEDxConnecticut College, Ella tells the story of her diagnosis, how she overcame feeling like “human trash,” and why we need to end the stigma — now. It’s packed with information (and a shot of humor), and if you didn’t already agree with her, you will by the time she’s done.
(Full disclosure: Ella is TED’s social media manager. This post was written by her boss who is so incredibly proud of how fearlessly she speaks out.)
OK What the fuck is wrong with this bitch. Getting herpes is most definitely a reflection on a bad decision!!! There is something in this world called condoms!! Oh yeah and they are free at Planned Parenthood so you can’t even use the fucking excuse that they are expensive or your broke so you couldn’t buy any.. Seriously what the fuck I am not saying you have to make it a big deal that you have herpes and have to tell the fucking world but you need/should tell your sexual partner..
Hi! That’s me. I’m that bitch. Nothing wrong with me except for an anxiety disorder and a runny nose today.
Here’s a fun fact you should probably know: condoms do not prevent the transmission of herpes. That’s because herpes is transmitted through skin contact, not fluids, and a condom does not cover all of the areas where genital herpes can express itself. Herpes is also often transmitted through oral sex, which most people do not use protection for. Using condoms and dental dams can greatly reduce your risk of getting herpes, but telling people to just use condoms is quite useless advice. I should know—I was a Planned Parenthood volunteer who used condoms religiously when I contracted genital herpes.
Many people do not tell their partners that they have herpes because they do not know they have herpes in the first place. That’s because many people can carry the virus without showing symptoms, and herpes is not tested for in most standard STI tests. But most people have herpes—in fact, according to the World Health Organization, 2 in 3 people in the world have HSV-1, which is the strain of herpes that I have. In all likelihood, you have herpes too. You may have even contracted it from a family member who kissed you on the mouth when you were little.
I tell all of my partners that I have genital herpes before we have sex because I think they have the right to decide what they want to do with their bodies. I consider it part of obtaining informed consent. My partner who transmitted herpes to me did not give me the option to decide whether or not I wanted to take the risk of contracting the virus, and I think that was probably because he did not know he had the virus. I harbor no ill will towards him for transmitting to me. If he’d disclosed his status to me, I would have fucked him anyway.
Considering the fact that you know that condoms are available for free at Planned Parenthood—and that your tumblr is full of porn GIFs, no judgment!—I hope that you have been tested recently for herpes as well. It requires a blood draw, so if you’ve been peeing in a cup for your STI testing, you don’t know your herpes status. If you test positive for herpes, which you probably will, statistically speaking, I’ve written this guide on what to do after you’ve been diagnosed. I hope you will find it helpful!
Thank you for watching my TEDx talk, which you absolutely made sure to do before calling me a bitch, and have a wonderful evening!
Impulsive, elusive, straight faced, lively, the child and the wild card, impulsive, the warrior, chasing the battle, a cyclone, unerved but also untrained, immense potential, the crybaby, bully, dominant, the single mother, masculine-femininity, the freight train, emotionally unstable, intense, pure hearted, unable to hold on to anger. Stubborn. Postive, determined, too arrogant, driven by rage, anger as a language, lunacy, strong will, the leader, changeable emotional landscape, intense feelings. Promiscuous, overwhelming sexual urges,the hound.
Moon in Taurus(Lana Del Rey - HoneyMoon)
Complacent, relaxed, patient, delicate, profound, articulate, cunning but koi, impressionable, hardheaded, stuck in the mud,homebody, socially refined, quiet, sophisticated, moving in silence, prudent, self assured, arrogant, loyal, sensitive, ardent, immovable, beautiful emotional side, protective, lack of urgency. Impenetrable, the mighty Wall, romantic, stoic, passive, concrete, simplicity.
Moon in Gemini(Jaden Smith - Fallen Guitar version)
Erratic, aloof, cold, two faced, intelligent, multi-faceted, quick reactions, emotional incompetence, curious, emotionally perceptive, depth, passionate, creative, idealistic, innocent, heavy hearted, ritualistic, lack of routine, ambitious, scarce, fearful, tactful, manipulative, caring, dependable but also hard to pin down, reactive but not reflective, internal growth, spiritual.
Closed, perplexing, cold, straight faced, “wanting” but not “needing.” Waning, powerful emotions but cool outer face, sensuous, changing, lacking in consistency, pompous, secretive, perceptive and deceptive, needy, kind hearted, VERY loyal, extremely blunt, offensive rather than defensive, thoughtful, loving and tender, not made for the public, loner, mentally powerful. Emotionally intense.
Moon in Leo(Childish Gambino - Feels like Summer)
HEAVY, drama, self created pain, Black or white, passionate, endearing behavior, loyalty, servicing, over reacting, spontaneous, detached when not in love, love of the chase, decisive, strong emotional nature, DANGEROUS ROMANCES, cliche, hard to get to know, licking their own wounds, prideful, walls, not letting people in, wise beyond their years, selfish, co-dependent when they’re with someone who doesn’t care as they do, artistic, beautiful.
Moon in Virgo(Years and Years - The whale)
Patient, grounded, anti-social, needing space, detached, hard on themselves, lacking in emotional compassion(outwardly), extremely emotional nature(internally), greedy, private, money minded, workaholic, obsession with death and mortality, depression, Moody, dark, melancholy, supportive, tender, soft hearted, dedicated, OLD SOULS. Lacking in direction, the drifter, emotionally heavy, loss and pain, the giver, wearing the happy face.
Moon in libra(James Blake - If the Car Besides You Moves Ahead)
Extremely private, emotionally complex, loner, distanced, fast moving mind, sentimental, evasive, emotionally cautious, personal space above romance, come and go feelings, loneliness, anger without a source, intense, emotionally aloof, slow to open up, intimacy is a luxury not a privilege, broken hearted, safe moves and safe bets, the easy choices never the hard ones, romantic at heart, the hunt for the one whilst never actually looking. Cool and sought after.
Moon in Scorpio(Tove Lo - Scream My Name)
Hurt, overwhelming emotional state, all or nothing, struggling to let go, anticipation, hide and seek, depressive episodes, resentment of the past carrying over into the present, jaded, obsessions, paranoia, RETALIATION, Complexity, darkness eats darkness takes, way up or way down, the carousel effect, sex is an emotional need, masterbation in excess, hate, love, must stay hidden, insecure, projections, the heart of an angel beneath the pain, sex as a means of escape, burning the emotional ego.
Moon in Sagittarius(The Internet - La Di Da)
Emotionally unavailable, opinionated, rushed, unmoving, beneficial descions, lack of loyalty, superficially inclined, strong heart, a desire for spiritual meetings, picky eater when it comes to love, nothing is ever enough, happiness above all else, emotionally resilient, willpower, progressive, hurtful, HONEST to a fault, real, emotionally intense, strong presence, direct emotional nature, no clowns no circus acts, “that’s how you feel.”, hard to negotiate with, tense, hard to reach, emotionally deep but also emotionally lacking in compassion for things they do not themselves resonate.
Moon in Capricorn(Mac Miller - Self Care)
Traditional, wise, nagging, consecutive, ambitious, the go getter, unapologetic, serious love, responsible, Dry, emotionally hard to read, bitter, stagnate, stuck in their ways, sly, business, get to the point, agitated state of mind, confrontational, melancholy, battles with depression and dark thoughts, inner feelings of Failure, money for revenge, profit, lack of sympathy, the strong survive mentality, emotionally reserved, depth beyond words, COMMITMENT.
Moon in Aquarius(Chromatics - Black Walls)
Perceptive, introspective, a loud mind, aloof, detaching from emotions easily, juggling feeling and not feelings, making a joke of inner pain, emotionally uncomfortable, wishing away feelings, the scientist, free speech, being mean to those they fall in love with, disappearing acts on emotional commitment, emotionally adaptable, social circles, feeling lonely, misunderstood intentions, selfless, emotionally lacking in diplomacy, creative and rich in personality, dark, emotionally intense, obsession with the romantic partner, idealization, fantasizing death and pain.
Moon in Pisces: (Florence and the machine - grace)
Giver, victim, above lower human “traits.”, oblivious to the pain of others, divine intuition, emotional intelligence, illusion, working in the shadows, living in their work, gentle, easily emotionally aroused, grace, sympathetic, compassionate, angst, anguish, horror and nightmares, sleep paralysis(a little more than most), animal whisperer, the nurse, psychic, demons and angles, karmic, drug use, emotionally unstable, truth, the deceiver, double life, religious.
